she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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