I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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