You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will pee on everything he values.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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