if only i could text you this smell
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
