the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
