The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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