There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
