So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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