you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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