it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
