does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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