If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
