summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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