operation harelip BJ is a go
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
