I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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