and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
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i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
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Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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