$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize