Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
