I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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