haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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