now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
