is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
