i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
