Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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