Screwed.edu
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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