your thong is hanging out like whoa
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
