He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
