all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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