I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
