Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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