pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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