Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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