): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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