we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
