Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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