He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
