Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
