Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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