His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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