What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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