The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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