More tranny stories later!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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