i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
