I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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