Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
