fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
