I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
