She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
do nipples grow back?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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