he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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