from now on my penis is your penis
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
