I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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