Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
