Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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