Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just gargled with NyQuil
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
