i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
