drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Did I show you my penis last night?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
