I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
