sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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