I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize