what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
