New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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