I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
