Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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